Ah, the Menu Of Mystery... For years I have puzzled over its contents, my imagination conjuring up exotic culinary concoctions accessible to only those who spoke the language - something of a sacred shibboleth. But then I had a great idea. I remembered that I have a friend who speaks Cantonese fluently, who is a diehard foodie. A date was arranged with a mutual friend making up our party. I arrive slightly early. I snag my favourite booth at the back. It is just before peak time, and while I wait for my companions I feel slightly guilty about occupying valuable real estate and not ordering yet.
My dates arrive and we pour over a photo we have snapped of the menu, so as not to get in the way. My Cantonese-speaking comrade translates the nearly 40 dishes. One of them is choi sum in garlic: a favourite. According to them, asking for choi sum can sound like asking someone to take their clothes off if the intonations are wrong. I imaging ordering and getting a slap in the face. Hilarious. There are also garlic duck heads and pig stomach. After careful deliberation we narrow down our choices to four. We go to the counter to order and pay. My friend orders in rapid-fire Cantonese. Such a difficult language, I am overwhelmed with admiration. For four dishes and a canned herbal tea each the total comes to just over $23.00 each. That is less than the cost of one entree at many European restaurants! They do let you split the bill at KC apparently, though somewhat reluctantly.
Our mouths water in anticipation. Soon, one after another, a veritable arsenal of food arrives.
Rice is included, and, though I have described the portions as mountainous in the past, this bowl is a virtual Everest! We share the dishes family-style and a feeding frenzy ensues.
First up is Hot Sour Noodle Soup. The flavours are milder and more subtle than the standard offering on the English menu. There are pickled mustard leaves which impart a lovely sour flavour. There are a sprinkling of golden peanuts and a smattering of pork mince. I get a lump of soup-soused pork and it is gelatinous and glorious. The noodles deserve a special mention. According to my foodie friend they are called Lai Fun and are made of rice, so are suitable for the gluten intolerant. They are chewier than the standard narrow rice noodles and contain potato starch which gives them a bit of bite. They slurp down a treat.
Next up: Salt Pepper Fish With Eggplant. For me this was the star of the show. The fish is flake-on-the-fork tender and cooked to perfection. According to one of my tutors at culinary school, the different between good fish and overcooked rubber is about 10 seconds. The talented KC chefs nailed it! It is battered and comes with a subtle, savoury sauce. The eggplant is also battered, melt-in-your-mouth tender and is some of the best eggplant I have ever eaten. Peppery as all hell. It also comes with a side of steamed broccoli, so if your resolution this year is to eat more vegetables, order this.
Lastly (the fourth dish is Green Beans With XO Sauce, which is on the English menu and a post for later) Beef With Bitter Melon. I have never tried bitter melon before but have always been fascinated by its long, wizened form. According to the staff, it is from frozen as the vegetable has such a short season. According to my Cantonese Companion, it tastes twice-cooked, which removes some of the acrid sting. If you like Campari then boy is this the vegetable for you! The name does not lie. It is a bit of an acquired taste - a taste I enjoy acquiring. The beef is tender and comes in a simple, viscous sauce which does not compete with the distinctive flavour of the bitter melon.
I would write more but I was swept up in a heady daze of deliciousness. This food is amazing! If you want the truly authentic, beg borrow or steal a Cantonese speaker. With over thirty dishes on the "secret" menu, I am eagerly anticipating many KC dates in the near future, though next time we will be more methodical with our orders. Garlic Duck heads here I come!
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